Former England captain Dylan Hartley admits his omission from Eddie Jones’ World Cup squad is causing him to have.
The Northampton hooker was made from England squad for the championship, having failed to overcome.
Hartley, that has 97 caps for England, had hoped to bow from international rugby to get a top in Japan, and it’s coming to terms with being denied the opportunity.
“After the World Cup team has been announced, it was almost like I’d died – friends getting in touch and seeing when I was OK,” Hartley said.
“Finally, the way I looked at my entire arcade career and the way I wanted it to flake out, and also how it was likely , was that this might have become the ultimate send-off, the fantasy conclusion into an global career.
“The reality is that you pick up an injury.
“For four years we have talked about winning the World Cup together with Eddie, and I have led that team, been part of the journey, to fall at the last hurdle… I don’t understand the feeling.
“I wake up many nights thinking about it. It doesn’t sit well with me personally, but I have come to terms with it. You have to crack on.”
Hartley believes England have a superb chance of being the team that lifts the Webb Ellis Cup in Yokohama City on November 2, and that his omission to take care of.
“I genuinely think England (will win), they have got as good a chance to go and get it done,” he said.
“The most unusual thing for me would be to think if my leg wasn’t [injured] in the moment I could be there together winning a World Cup. It is really hard to swallow.
“I hope they go and win. I’ll get on and be a glory supporter – remember me guys?
“I will be hanging off the side of this open-top bus, in my 97th (appearance) shirt.”
As representing club side Northampton in a Gallagher Premiership clash with Worcester almost nine months ago hartley hasn’t featured at any degree of rugby.
The 33-year-old admits by trying to rush back to the World Cup, his knee injury uttered.
“I tried an (initial) strategy with my knee, a very aggressive strategy, since I had been given a few deadlines to meet, and the competitive strategy didn’t work,” said Hartley.
“I ended up at a worse place for attempting to come back too early. Ever since that happened, I knew I was not likely to make the (World Cup) deadline.
“It was around the start of the camps, even when they first got together around the beginning of July. I tried return for that and essentially put myself at a tiny hole physically and mentally.”
Hartley spent a fortnight at Philadelphia working together with strength and conditioning expert Bill Knowles, whose clients include Andy Murray, and believes that treatment was beneficial.
“Everyone asks whenever you are coming back but I’ve learned that you do not place a time period on itbecause when you’re 10 days from it and you know you are nowhere near, you are able to play these games in mind and it is tough,” Hartley added.
“In the present time, I’m constructing my tolerance to have the ability to run daily and engage daily.”
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